terms and conditions

Sun 7.11.21

      Tell me sister (or brother), did you wonder as you were in point of making your commitment about the door forever shutting behind you as you entered your new life, the narrowing of it to this particular situation or person, and what's more, about the life you will now build?  Before this situation or person came into your life, all doors were open, all possibilities.  Sure, you were never going to explore most of your potential.  But were you losing all those possibilities?  Were you shutting the door on the person you had been before this one came along?  You were happy weren't you, having a pretty good time, and doing creative things. 

      This could be a trap?  Think of the story told by Carlos Castaneda about being in a taxi with a girlfriend who is in the process of abandoning her home, moving to other parts.  He is accompanying her to the animal shelter where she plans to drop off 2 cats to be euthanized (killed) most likely.  He waits inside the car as she gets out with one of the cats, and in the melee the other cat, his name is Max, escapes, runs out of the car to his freedom.  Don't you want to be Max, to know the trap and run.  Run, run, run, in the fields, in the gutter, untouched, uncommitted.  What is the trap, the life before this situation or person came into your life, or the life you have now?  And don't bullshit, what you lose is forever, don't dismiss so easily the spirit that brought you here.

      Did you mull it in your head, sister?  You know about the prison don't you?  That's where you are fed ersatz pleasures, ersatz relationships, and then you die in a cold hospital room with the overhead TV playing Dialing For Dollars.  Maybe you thought you could escape the decision, you could spend your life exploring avenues, one after another. And now your life is becoming circumscribed streets, the laundry, the pantry and the scheduled diversions.  This situation or person supports you, and somehow enriches your life, gives you pleasure and yes, stability.

      Then there are break-ups.  I don’t think one ever breaks up, the truth, rather, was that you were never fully there.  The problem with commitment is that there is so very little that you would ever care to commit yourself to or anyone else for that matter.  Let’s own up to it commitments are really short term arrangements . . . for now.

      Did you mull all that over before you took the plunge, sister? There are times when major changes are called for.

The favorite posting last month was IKTOMI