Just spell

my name right

Sun 12.29.19

      Baby examining itself in the mirror and realizing it is a portrayal of itself will study it very closely as time unfolds.  In this manner, life itself becomes a presentation.  One is controlled by presentation; the clothes one wears, one’s table manners, the habits one exhibits, one’s physical appearance, one is shamed by an inappropriate presentation.

      The world of humans in this era and many more before this one is populated by dolls.  I do not own a TV because it frightens me, but at times I get glimpses of its doings on the internet. I will find a piece of information interesting and will fall for the click bait and a scene will unfold of a news presenter, or a pundit, in a studio somewhere in TV land and he/she will jump in with their presentation.  I quickly shut these folks off; I don’t want interpretation of an event, a happening, I want the real thing. These presenters are dolls.  They remind me of the paper dolls I enjoyed as a child.  I could put them in beach clothes, ball gowns and tux, or I could send them to the office.  How can one possibly take seriously these made up people with not one hair out of place, buffed till they practically squeak.  There are dolls all around us following a script written a thousand years ago.  Freud said that the majority of people were worthless, so programmed that their essence their true self had been destroyed through the programming one is subject to, childhood trauma.

      Mirroring oneself as a specimen to be shaped as an object of contemplation destroys spontaneity and is replaced by . . . science.  One is a specimen to be examined like the earth, which was determined to circle around the sun.  It had nothing to do with human beings – a mechanical process like the car’s motor.  Did Mr. Cramer down the street die of a broken heart after he lost his wife?  No, it was a myocardial infarction.  All of studied human knowledge is irrelevant because it does not account for the whole person.

      “Everything that is interesting happens in the shadows, we know nothing of the real life of the human race,” said Céline.  Science, with its methods of detachment and observation leads to psychic detachment.  One’s bodily self, the somatic self that feels, smells, angers, cries, laughs, trembles, shits is not a part of any of it.  For knowledge to have value for humans it must have a visceral component.  Before binary split of yin and yang, humans did not believe in god, they experienced it.  They saw the sun as having some power in their life.  The planets spoke to them directly and had powerful meaning for their life.  Leaving that part of self behind, this comprehension of the numinism that is a part of experienced human life reduces it to a mechanical performance that is scientifically .highly predictable, but stripped of its magic.