bitchez

Sun 9.3.23

I am Bitch,  truly a bitch!  Any woman who asserts herself, demands her rights, note that I didn't say affirm, or maintain, has got to have a strong clit, and you have to carry it off with panache.  

My childhood friend Carlene gave me my first lesson in bitchhood:

We had the same model car, both under warranty, but she was getting better service than I was, even the use of a loaner while the dealership's mechanics worked on her car.  Of course, she was a leggy blond, but the dealership also had a bottom line.  

What goes on here, Carlene? I said.

You have to make a lot of noise, in front of all the guys.  If you can, bring others, creating a small party of noise makers.  Men can't stand hysterical women.  They will do anything to   Shut.   You.   Up.

A lesson I have kept close to heart, lo these many years.  Use what you've got, I say.  I am of the school of, Speak softly and carry a big stick.  People think I'm a pussy.  That's good, it makes for a less guarded atmosphere, which gives you the advantage.  Play the fool if you must, the goal you seek to achieve is more important than your ego.

You have to, any woman who starts making noise not appropriate to the female species needs all the help she can get.  My sister witch, Patrykia, the sex witch, taught me another lesson in bitchhood: "Your power derives from your sexuality.  You initiate and control sex  Learn to use this tool to your benefit.

She once came to a conference with me, and upon sizing up the gathering, said: There's no one fuckable here.  So . . . nothing will come of this conference.  The energy for action is lacking.  Be wary of men who approach talking up your fuckability, your mojo; they're just trying to steal it.  Those who have their own thing going on will be more respectful.

Round the corner from my street today is a woman having a moving-away street sale. Everything's out there, a whole rack of clothes, shoes, leopard boots, kitchen equipment, books.  The woman is traveling light, and obviously far.  Don Juan's bitch lesson: I am already given to the power that rules my fate, and I cling to nothing so I will have nothing to defend.  Be wary of your possessions and relationships becoming your subtle masters.  You are at your strongest when you have nothing left to lose.  The bullshit's over.

Get the last word.  That word may not be triumphant, but it must be your truth, released to the Spirit in an act of finality and mutual respect. On the school bus going to Jordan School in my home town, a boy whose family owned a string of pizza shops named Georgio's was picked on by the bus' bully.  This went on all week with nary a peep from Georgio boy.  Then on Friday morning, as we got off the bus in front of school, Georgio boy jumps the bully, beats the shit out of him and sends the sniveling coward running for cover.   My admiration knew no bounds for the quiet boy who had waited silently for the opportune moment to strike his blow.  Without enemies, you are merely pawn and prey in this predatory world.  You have placed your courage on the altar of safety.  The price?  

Soul death.  An enemy is someone who is testing their power against yours, sharpening horns, so to speak.  It's not personal.  The lion does not hate the zebra.

Some man called me an asshole this week.  It was a moment of quiet strength for me.  I had gained his respect.

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Eight o'clock Sunday morning, the police arrive at her apartment in Greenwich Village, "How long have you been living here?" The roommate Elizabeth, after having accepted her half of the deposit money and rent for their new apartment, has called the police. 

New York City doesn’t open its arms to welcome her, but she’s arrived and the adventure of her life is about to unfold.  She’s come from Maine with an invitation from Sarah Lawrence College to participate in the graduate writing program.

How one becomes a seeress is what this memoir explores. Stories have been specifically selected to illustrate, from the sublime to the practical, a spiritual journey introduced in each chapter by an atout, the Tarot’s major archetypes.   From the Fool, to The World, our human journey with its risk and folly unfolds. There is also an artist here alive to her new world seeking inspiration among artists on the Lower East side, learning the ways and foods of her Chinese neighbors, falling in love.